the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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