Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
