did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
