soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
In America we eat man semen.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
