I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize