He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
