Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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