So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
