Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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