He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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