Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
