So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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