Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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