i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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