I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
