3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
