too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
