You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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