Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
