It's like God shit irony all over that family
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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