And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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