Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
