Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I will pee on everything he values.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
