oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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