My sheets look like a crime scene.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
