I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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