My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
