he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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