I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He passed out mid-signature
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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