The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
