3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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