somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
