How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Are my feet made of real feet?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize