Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You pole danced in your parka.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
