Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
