We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
what day is it and did you see me today?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Semen is not good for contacts.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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