who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
so let's talk penis.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
