Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
