Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
