I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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