I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
