He kissed a someone with a penis
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
