I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
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