Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
