I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
the liver wants what the liver wants
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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