ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
