am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
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