is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
