Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Randomize
