just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
We need to get me chipped asap
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
