Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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