she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
