i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
