so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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