Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
The Olympian is in my bed
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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