we're chasing vodka with high fives
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
