You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
