just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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