Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
