I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Randomize