ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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