was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
