i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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