i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize