Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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