Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
